1. When you hear something super sad
I learned that my neighbour's husband was beating her. It was super sad. They had a 2 year old at the time and I knew she was a stay at home mom. So...one day I had a week day off work, went over with a cake, and made her my best friend. At the time she had a broken arm and two huge black eyes. She didn't have any friends as she wasn't from the area. I helped her with her kid, I helped her dump him, I helped her move back to her home province and we're still best friend to this day.
Here's some answers to some faq's:
-I didn't call the police as I was young and scared and didn't know what to do. I was 18 at the time and had just move to the city. One of the most dangerous cities in the country. I was worried that their kid would get taken away, or that he would know it was me and try to beat me up. Contrary to seemingly popular belief, I'm a girl (as indicated by the princess in my username), and I'm not a sizeable one. I figured it would be easier for her for me to just be someone to talk to and she could decide if she wanted to call the police or not. When I went over that day I just the new neighbor wanting to make friends (this happened when I had lived in the building about 3 weeks), I didn't even mention her eyes or cast that day. We just sat around and giggled and compared Archie Comic collections. We legit became best friends in the matter of hours.
-I have not seen Drive, but I guess I should check it out. I for some reason thought it was about Ryan Gosling stealing cars? Whateves, I'll give it a go.
-It was a "McCain's Deep and Delicious" marble cake, as I'm not a baker.
2. The juicy gossip on the Facebook nudes
My neighbor's teenage daughter sent some nudes via Facebook and got caught by her mom. That girl got yelled at like I've never heard. And I heard it all because I turned off everything in my place that made noise and stood with my ear against the wall basically the entire time.
3. The guy that would be embarrassed to have an audience
My neighbour has been learning to play guitar for almost a year now, he's gotten a lot better! Shhhhh!
4. This is our new Sunday night entertainment
In college, we could always hear a girl and her boyfriend argue. It went on for weeks. Each time, I'd mute the television and listen in. Housemates thought it was odd at first, but once they started hearing the crap this couple said, they were totally on board.
5. It was entertaining, until...
When I was younger, I moved into this new apartment complex. First night there, it started... Sex noises. Every night around 11pm I hear this couple having sex, loud sex. I admit that I found it a bit entertaining (because it never went on for too long) until a couple weeks later. I see the guy walking out of his apartment. 75 years old and quite husky. Nobody was having sex... I was listening to his porn over surround sound.
6. Uh... I can explain
I had cops called on me for suspected domestic abuse when I was fresh out of college. I lived alone at the time and what actually happened was
I lived alone at the time and what actually happened was that I beat the crap out of my box fan after a 5 game losing streak on SCII ladder.
7. Personal concerts are oh-so-sweet
My neighbor sings to someone through the phone about 3 nights a week. I don't know what he is saying but it sounds like he really loves whoever it is he is singing to. I don't really get annoyed by it because I think it's a pretty sweet thing to do. It's to the point now that if I don't hear singing for a while I get a little worried about him.
8. The perfect neighbor
My neighbor is the perfect neighbor, single guy in his 40s, he makes no noise and is rarely home; I see him leaving sometimes in the morning always in a suit and tie, hair perfectly combed, and he drives a M6.
But one weekend each month his two sons come to visit him.
They're both pretty young, and the week before they come I have heard him on the balcony talking with someone on the phone about the plans he's made to do with his boys once they're there.
Also once they're at his apartment I can hear him read to them every night before bed.
9. "They couldn't live without each other"
Lived in a four apartment strip back in the 90's. Quiet, peaceful, perfect.
One Saturday afternoon, I'm sitting on the couch watching tv and hear a gunshot. Second later, another. I run next door and pound on the door, can't get in.
So I call 911, tell them this and cops show up pretty quick.
Turns out the elderly couple next door did a murder-suicide pact because they didn't want to live without one another.
10. Wine isn't alcohol...right?
Some jerkwad who lives right above me is a lot louder than he seems to think he is. Just the other night, I learned he's "quitting alcohol and switching to wine."
11. Neighbors who appreciate food this much are worth keeping
My neighbors used to get really high and make crazy food and eat snacks loudly late into the night. My favorite thing I ever heard as I was passing by was:
"And then put some friggin cheese in it dude."
"You mean stuff it in inside the bell pepper??"
"Hell yes! And then put it in the oven!"
12. Suspicious renovations in the middle of the night
My upstairs neighbours absolutely love to move their furniture around. I assume this is supposed to be a secret because it only happens between 3 am - 4 am.
13. The sounds of a new beginning
I heard my neighbor give birth when I was a kid. It was planned, there were a bunch of people there and she did it in a bathtub or something.
14. Today we're broken up, tomorrow we're together, repeat
My next-door neighbor used to constantly break up with her boyfriend and have loud sobbing phone calls with her friends late at night.
One time a friend even called the police because he was worried she would harm herself. I saw the police walking down the hall as I was coming home and they thought I was her at first.
Then they went into her apartment and spoke for 30 minutes about love, pills and the importance of staying resilient in the face of breakups. The officer was a great guy, but I heard way too much.
15. This guy's a true adventurer!
I learned that my old neighbor's kid is... an adventurer in the body of a nine-year-old boy. The first conversation I ever heard between mother and son was something akin to her shrieking, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE CARPET?"
"I'M DIGGING A HOLE, MOM!"
I often heard her crying and one time asking him if he'd prefer to live with his dad, because he seemed miserable with her. She thought that was why he was acting out. He ended up crying, too, and begging her to let him stay. So he did, and at least they seemed to get on better after that.
To not end on a sour note, the funniest thing I think I heard was her shrieking, "OH MY GOD, WHERE DID YOUR CLOTHES GO?"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
"I'M FREE, MOM! I'M FREE!"
She scolded him, but after I heard him stomp off, I heard her laughing pretty hard on the other side of the wall.